There are days that I hate. Today is one of them.
What makes certain days intolerable in my life with Multiple Sclerosis? It’s a day where I’ve gotten up, showered and dressed, put on makeup and did my hair, and when done; I have nowhere to go and nothing to do.
It’s so hot! I’ve already talked about heat intolerance, but that’s not what this is about. This is about, almost without thought, the awakening of my spirit to the outside world and wanting to be a part of it. I get up and do what any normal person would do–get ready for the day. The problem is, there is no day waiting for me.
I’ve gone about my day doing daily tasks, taking care of the dogs, and working on my computer. I fell asleep during my lunch, woke up then finished my lunch.
I went into my office to check on a trade that I had placed in Forex earlier in the day and saw that it was in a sideways movement, not going anywhere, so I closed the trade down with pennies for profit. I too am going sideways, going nowhere.
The high point of my day was when the mailman brought a box to my door from Amazon.com.
I’m not sad. I’m frustrated and bored. I’m also lonely.
I’m very lonely.