No Faces

Once again, there is a piece of artwork in progress with a girl and the moon. She stands there amidst the stormy clouds standing tall and proud proving what? She has no face and if you pay attention the moon has no face either. The girl stands in front of him to prove what?

Oftentimes in the face of iniquity we do as she is doing, all of us. That is why she has no face. We all do what she is doing. We try to prove that we are strong when what we really should do is falter and fall down. If we always do as she is doing, we will fall down but we fall because we have come to the end of our rope. We should fall while we still have rope because we can strengthen it, and add to it so that it is longer. We cannot work with something that no longer exists.

This is where I stand right now. I look behind me and I look ahead of me. In either direction, I can only see a life of pain and suffering, health-wise that is. It is possible that I need to live as though I was in death row. How does one live with that?

Multiple Sclerosis has me in constant pain. I am doing medicinal marijuana, or at least I was, but it really is not my cup of tea. I have quit smoking so smoking marijuana does not help that process. The oils do nothing for me. I haven’t tried baking with it, so that will be my next step

Have you noticed that this blog that was once very upbeat with a lean towards the enabling part of MS is now a blog about the struggles and pain of MS.

I can’t help it. It is what it is. I promised I would write about my life so that you could learn about MS and its prognosis. The good and the bad, the sad and the ridiculously funny. I say funny because here I sit and write about MS only to find out that I probably have CHF (Congestive Heart Failure). I can’t get over how it is decided that one person gets chosen to bear so much pain and suffering.

Maybe it’s the rain outside. Maybe it’s the Cardiology visit I had yesterday. Maybe it’s because my husband is ill but he went to work anyways. That worries me. Maybe it’s because I’m having family problems. Maybe it’s because I feel pain everywhere.

I’m down and just had a hissy fit in my bedroom leaving a sentence in this blog unfinished. UNFINISHED???

Perhaps the sun will shine tomorrow.

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