Please Release Me!

Hello dear readers,

I’ve been wearing a brace around my neck for the last three months.  Prior to this, I wore a different brace from different doctors.  You see, I have had three major surgeries from January 2018 through January 2019.  It’s been a miserable year.  One of my surgeries was 9 hours long with THREE attending surgeons who had to seek out a day in their busy schedules to tend me.  They coordinated their days and I was fortunate enough to receive their care.

I know that my wording might sound a bit strange, but I was fortunate.  I don’t know where I would be today had I not been so fortunate. This is why I haven’t been around much, the reason I disappeared and found myself wearing braces.

I will be back.  I have suddenly felt a compelling need to go lay down.  It is 4:00 pm.  Talk at you later.

I’m back.  It’s now 9:41 pm.  I haven’t been asleep all this time.  I simply forgot that I was in the middle of this communication with you until just now.  Where was I?

My husband drove me to my neurosurgeon’s office today for my 3-month follow-up visit.   He freed me of my neck brace and part of this was due to my explaining to him about Multiple Sclerosis and heat.  It gets very hot underneath that neck brace to the point where I found myself soaking wet on the several days that it was remotely over 60 degrees here.  Imagine if it were over 80 degrees!

Yes, I cannot describe in words what a difficult year and then some, it’s been.  So I think what I should do is not describe it.  Sound good?

It feels good that I’m slowly coming out of my turtle shell that I crawled into.  I’m still not quite out of the cave.  Let’s just say that I’m peeking out of the shell.  I’m a bit gun shy about what might drop on my head should I come out.  Do I dare trust that a piano might not drop from the sky and surround me with the sound of discordant chords in a cacophony?  Knowing me, I would probably find some sort of melody in them and sit down to compose a bit of music.

At this point, my neurologist and I have thrown up our hands when it comes to dealing with MS issues.  The MS has had to take a back seat for the past year while I struggled with other issues which were also neurological in the sense of neurological symptoms that crossed over with my MS.  It was difficult to tell which symptom was due to MS and which was due to my other diagnosis.  What was long-standing and what was not.

I have to apologize here.  I see that I’m right back into addressing this past year’s issues.  I guess my body and soul are not ready to trust that a piano won’t fall from the sky just yet.  I need to crawl back into my turtle cave shell.  It’s good that I’ve gotten out this far.  It’s also good that I’ve been released from wearing that collar.

Take care and I’ll be back another day.


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