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Lament Of The Flowers

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Lament Of The Flowers

I’m sitting here alone with one lamp lit across the room.  It is 3:24 am.  I didn’t sleep at all last night and here I sit still tapping on my laptop’s keys.  I touch them feeling the tactile buttons giving way to the slightest touch of my fingers.

If only I could manipulate my life like I control my trembling fingers on this keyboard.  I could backspace my way out of some pretty horrible ordeals I’ve been going through.

Have you noticed my absence here in cyberspace?  If you haven’t, then perhaps I am actually sitting here alone throwing up words only to flush them away once I hit post.  Actually no, my words will live on despite what my life slaps me in the face with.

I can feel the redness and swelling of my face from so many tortuous unprovoked abuse of my body.  I can feel the pain in my legs, my buttocks, my lower back, my hands and arms, my neck and head.  I can also feel the pain deep within my body.

My trembling fingers find it almost too difficult to dance across the buttons of this keyboard.  I see two of everything I type as I see two of everything else in life.   If only I could enjoy what I see doubling the affect of good things.

There is so much to tell you but I don’t know where to begin.  I don’t even know that I feel like it right now.  It’s late and I really should try and sleep.  I will place between my trembling lips a pipe of medicinal marijuana, that will help me forget about things for a few hours while I slumber.

I’m drooping now like the flowers in the pot in my kitchen that I meant to dispose of.  Instead the petals lie on the kitchen floor for my dogs to sniff at wondering if this is a treat for them to eat.

For now, I will say good night, or good morning?  It is now 4:00 am.

If all goes well, I will return and tell you about the “so much to tell you”.  There is a horrific process that I must endure first,  if I am to live.  I try not to think about it but the butterflies dancing around in my stomach won’t allow it.  Butterflies shouldn’t be inside one’s stomach.

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Magdalena Obert
Magdalena Obert
I am a musician/composer who has traveled around the country as a freelance musician. I live and breathe music. I was struck down by MS (Multiple Sclerosis), and my life changed dramatically. I continue to write and compose music but I do it from home. One day, I came across a web site and saw candlesticks on a chart. I was curious about them because they looked rather like musical notes to me. I clicked on the site, which took me to Forex.com. I read a bit about it and learned that trading was a method of making an income, so I downloaded a demo. I didn't do anything with the demo account for a long time. I did watch the charts daily and learned how to use the platform. Mostly, I was intrigued by the movements of the candlesticks. They fascinated me. I began to get the urge to trade, so I started playing with the demo. I then came across a system I wanted to try, which I did using the demo account. The rest is history. I fell in love with trading. There is something musical about it. In particular, you never know what it is going to do next, which is oftentimes true in music. You think you know the next logical progression of a new piece of music and you anticipate it, but oftentimes, it surprises you and goes along a different path. Sound familiar? I'm a trader now, newbie for 7 years, but a trader.

2 Comments

  1. corbieway says:

    Wishing you wellness over the holidays and through the new year. Thank you for posting. Your thoughts and feelings are much appreciated.

    • Magdalena Obert says:

      I wish you a great New Year as well.

      It is people like you that I truly appreciate because of your comment. It is why I write.

      Magdalena

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