I’m back! I’ve been back for a week or so shuffling my way around the house with a neck brace on.
It wasn’t a difficult surgery. The pain from it is about what you would expect after having a surgery of any kind. There is pain, but not something that some pain pills won’t put a dent into it.
What are the results thus far?
When I first got out of surgery that first day, I thought that….whoopee, my legs don’t feel pain! They didn’t. I couldn’t believe it. Gradually, as the second day wore on, I began to feel pain in my legs. I shrieked inside my head, I begged inside there but to no avail. That stupid pain was on it’s way back and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.
Why did I not feel pain at first? I don’t know. I haven’t had my follow up visit with my doctor.
For a few days after my surgery, I felt the crawling onset of pain build up in my legs. It was progressively worse towards evening.
Although having surgery in my neck or cervical spine, my greatest concern was the pain in my legs and not in my neck. I was so hoping that I would be like the research I read prior to surgery where people had been helped with the pain in their legs
after having cervical surgery. That did not seem to be the case for me.
I sat in pain in both areas, legs and neck, and thought about my future days with Multiple Sclerosis. Was the pain in my legs neuropathy and would I have to incorporate living with that added pain in my life? MS was difficult enough to contend with as
it was. Why suffer the pain of a new neuropthy? What more lay ahead in living with this disease that I had not already encountered?
My husband came over to visit me on the third day. Everything he said irked me. I’m normally not this way but that day I could not contend with the mundane tidbits of everyday life at home that my husband told me thinking it would cheer me up. Why in
the world would telling me about home make me feel any better when what I wanted most was to go home, crawl into bed and cry?
You can’t blame him. He did not know about the screaming and yelling going on in my head, like a street fight brawl. He innocently sat there, made a comment, then get quiet waiting for some sort of response from me, as though I was delighted with what he told me. After repeated attempts at trying to cheer me up this way, he finally got the hint that this was not working.
Today, I’m a bit more cheerful despite the pain in both my legs and neck. Being home helps. Surrounding myself with the ability to do the things I know and love also helps. I haven’t done anything constructive but the tools are all available to me should I once again have the desire to think outside of myself.
My Take On This:
Being in this tunnel of negative thoughts is something I avoid at all cost. Sometimes it can’t be helped. I’m human and when in pain, even the best of us succumb to laying down in some dark corner of our minds and hearts, beating our hands and feet
like a child having a tantrum.
I believe I’m crawling out of there and will once again pursue the answers to my questions. What are they?
1. Is the pain in my legs a neuropathy? If so, what do I do about it?
2. Can this pain in my legs be resolved with the EMG test I spoke about in my earlier blog, where the nerves that are sending
these strong pain signals to my brain, be isolated and blocked?
3. Why did I initially feel an improvement and to be quite honest, there is still a bit of improvement?
In ending, my dear friends, this has been a struggle and continues to cause me some confusion. Spring is coming and I want to feel good for it, at least as well as I can feel despite having Multiple Sclerosis.
Back to the drawing board, literally. I feel like art work today. That’s a good sign