Ah, the new year is upon us. Should we celebrate it or not?
It looms before me and if it was anything like last year, I think I’ll press the reset button on my life and hope it takes me back to before last year began. Six surgeries! I almost tremble at the thought of what this year might bring.
Actually, now that I think about it, I don’t fear the new year. I anticipate it just like I anticipate anything new. It’s like a Christmas gift that one gets where you open the package slowly in anticipation of what it might prove to be.
Just like Multiple Sclerosis. You just don’t know what the year will be like, but isn’t hat true of anything? Rather than fear the new year, I think I will embrace it as it unfolds, like a lover where you run kisses up and down his face until you get the reaction you want. LOL.
I’m sitting here thinking, bring it on! I know I can handle anything this new year will bring me. Perhaps I will get lucky and face only great things. Maybe I won’t be so lucky and have a predominantly difficult year. That’s okay too. I’ve proven that I can handle many things that I thought I couldn’t.
Add to all the physical problems were the emotional ones to do with family. It was a traumatic year for my family which of course, rolled on to me. When they hurt, I hurt. When I hurt, they don’t. Seems a bit uneven doesn’t it? I don’t care. It is what it is. Their pain is mine, at least it affects me as though it happened to me physically.
The ambiguity of life is common to all living things. None of us knows what will happen to us even within the scope of my favorite five minutes, the one that is happening right now. For instance, I spill this cup of coffee all over my computer keyboard and in the process I burn my hand. I don’t care about the hand. I grab something to wipe the keyboard down with or flip it upside down hoping I caught it in time so that the coffee didn’t have the chance to drip down between the keys. Dream on. I’ve never been that lucky. I move way too slow to catch it in time.
This leads to a ruined keyboard. I can’t get through a day without a keyboard since I’m primarily a desktop user. What to do? I could order one online, but I would have to wait a day or two, if not longer, to get a keyboard in the house. I could use my husband’s keyboard, but then he’d be without his and he works on his computer daily like I do. I don’t like it when my battles seep into his daily life, although we all know it does. However, this is something I can do something about. Let his computer alone and deal with my own problem.
This then leads to, should I buy one sight unseen or should I go down to a store? The last one I bought was sight unseen. It turned out to be a nice keyboard, as keyboards go. Should I get the same one? Nah. Things change during the course of a year. Technology changes and I’m addicted to the latest and greatest. Going out to check out the keyboards has a two-fold advantage. I get out of the house, and of course, I get to check out the latest and greatest.
I find my old keyboard and compare it to the newer keyboards. They vary in price and in function. To wired or go wireless? To go with a mouse included or not? You get the idea. One event sets off a series of other events. Should I look ahead and plan for every possible outcome or should I deal with what is happening right in front of me right now?
I can’t sit around and worry about every possible outcome while my keyboard is getting ruined and everything else that is in the way of the path of spilled coffee. I need to take action right now for what is happening right now. I need to mop up the spilled milk, then assess my wet keyboard and so forth. If I take things sequentially and logically, I can deal with it one step at a time. If I think about it and weight all the possible things I can do, in the meantime, what started out as a bad event grows into a destructive event instead of a minor one.
Okay, so all this leads me to think this about the new year. Not to worry. Not to fear. Not even to plan. Planning assumes too many things which turns into worries.
I don’t make resolutions because I have too much respect for myself to set myself up for failure. If I do well with something I would like to improve, this is good. I think that most things that need improvement will take more than one year to take effect.
I will go my merry way, as merry as I can be, that is. One step forward leads to another step forward and eventual destination. Along the way, there will definitely be falls, perhaps some broken bones along with tears of consternation, anger, sadness. This is the story of life.
All of us can lead a life of being disabled or we can choose a life of being enabled. My disabilities does not disable me nor does it define me. My ATTITUDE is what can disable me.
You choose for yourself.
I am enabled by my disability.