Frazzled

health_drvisitI have been running around all week going to one Doctor then another.  I am having surgery on the 1st of September.  I have a huge incisional hernia that has been bothering me.  Isn’t Multiple Sclerosis enough?  My cup overfloweth!

As I think about you, wondering how you are, I sit here trying to communicate with you and longing to see you.  There is nothing and no one like someone else who has the same identifying disease, Multiple Sclerosis, who could understand the emotions that run through head and heart during times of stress.

Surprisingly for me, I am having a difficult time following my own philosophy of “Five Minutes”.  I will have this up soon for you to look at.  Those of you who are following me or give a “Like” on my blog will get a free copy.  I am failing miserably at this theory.  I have to read the E-book myself to boost myself up.

My husband is very worried as well.  I will have two surgeons at my side and will be under anesthesia for about 4 hours or more.

I hate anesthesia.  When they try to put me to sleep, I fight it, which is pointless.  I think it’s because I hate being completely out of control of my body.  Secondly, I’m afraid I won’t wake up from nothingness, not even dreams live in that anesthetic state.  Thirdly, it’s a bit insane to allow yourself to be taken under to nowhere so that people can look at you at your worst, then look and muddle their way inside of you  in places that you haven’t seen yourself.  In a way, physically at least, they know more about your body than you do.  It’s a very intimate knowledge.

On top of my sundae, there is always a cherry on top.  This cherry is finding out that I will need to have cataract surgery on both eyes.  One eye will be done in October and two weeks later, the second eye.  Isn’t this fun?

It would be great to hear from more of you to hold me up in spirit during these difficult days.

But wait!!!  Let’s do a—

My Spin On This

Okay.  Let’s do my thing here.  I will analyze myself.   What is your problem, Maggie.  Why are you ignoring your own rules?  Why are you in a panic over a surgery?  I know you had sepsis once but that’s old news.  You can’t compare one to another.  You can’t or shouldn’t project about what happened in the past to a situation that is going to happen in the future.  What happened to living right here and right now?  So give yourself a slap upside the head and be a good example for your family and friends.  Yeah, the people reading this are your friends too.  Why else would they spend their precious time reading all your stuff.  So forget about all of it.  Just concentrate on what you’re doing and do it well.  Okay?

Hmpf!!!!!!

 

4 thoughts on “Frazzled

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