I went in to see my neurologist about six months ago and I complained about my head dropping down and/or over to the right. I was always looking down, in either case. I would sometimes bump into things because I wasn’t looking forward.
It was decided that I should have botox injections and I believe I wrote about this earlier in the year about the horrible effects it had on me. My chin was pinned to my chest. It took three months of a gradual wear off before I could lift my head up again.
My neurologist was flabbergasted. He said he gave me an extremely low dose of it. Botox works on the muscles in the neck the same way as they work on the face. That’s why oftentimes, people who get a lot of Botox injections for cosmetic reasons, have a tendency to have a frozen look about them.
My neurologist thought that I was super sensitive, as we both were aware of, due to years of experiences we had trying out different medications for relief of symptoms for me. It became clear that I was extremely sensitive to certain types of drugs and to others, I was not sensitive at all. In fact, the ones that I wasn’t sensitive to, we upped dosages many times and finally tried something else because of the drugs inability to offer relief, in my case.
It was an extremely difficult time for me not only physically but emotionally. I was afraid to go out anywhere knowing that I must appear strange to people. I already knew that people could tell that I had some sort of disability but this was like me screaming in their face, “Look at me! I’m a sick gal!”
It was a relief to me when my neurologist decided that I should see a neurologist who specialized in giving these types of medications with specialized guided equipment. This was an inconvenience due to the distance to travel but it was a relief knowing that I was in good hands, at least I hoped I was. As it turned out, my hopes were realized.
The injections were given when the machine made these strange ticking sounds suggesting to the neurologist that it was the right location. The dosage was also decreased as well. However, it didn’t seem to me that the number of injections was less. Unfortunately, this Doctor has moved away and I don’t know if anyone replaced her or not. I just know that I don’t want to have to travel that far if I can help it.
Over time, the predictable happened. I was back to square one with my head. Correct that. I am now back to square one where I look like I’m walking as though I should be carrying one of those metal finder machines panning for treasures.
My neurologist and I looked at each other this past week or so and realized that we were going to have to try again without the advanced technology. When he and the nurse prepped my neck, they felt the muscle that they thought was the culprit. It was, in their opinion, way too tight where the other ones were stretched out. The neurologist assured me that we were going down even less in dosage and that hopefully, we would do okay. HOPEFULLY?
Everything went well and I held my head as high as I could for the next several days in the hopes I could raise it even further in another few days. Not.
I am so frustrated and disappointed. I just want to howl at the moon.
I noticed that my head felt heavier and heavier as the days progressed and then I realized, oh no—my head is freezing again.
I woke up this morning and sure enough, I could barely lift it again. It will get worse before it gets better.
I am not going to put a “nicey nice” spin on this article. I’m angry, frustrated and sad. It’s pointless and serves no purpose whatsoever but it’s how I feel.
I spoke to my Doctor’s nurse this morning to report the situation to her and to cancel my appointment with him in a month because I just happen to be going in for a major 2-Doctor surgical procedure at about the same time. My cup runneth over!
I told the nurse the situation about the botox and she said, “But we lowered the dose!” To that. I replied that I knew that I was not a physician or a nurse, but it is apparent to me that it’s not the dosage but the locations they choose to give me these shots. She felt bad and told me she would let the Doc know and we hung up.
Come on folks. Don’t you agree? I don’t know.
I’ll get back with you when I’m in a better mood.
Isn’t this a first? Maybe not. I wrote a bitchy blog.