The days have turned beautiful here in New Jersey. I stand at my door and hear conversations of couples out for a walk,. I watch joggers run, some apparently new at it and others who look like they were born to run.
I have attempted, several times to go outside and start my vegetable garden. I have laid out the area to be run through by a tiller like grating carrots in my kitchen gadget. However, I don’t own a tiller so I lift off the grass with my small hand spade inch by inch. I then use my, gadget, that looks like a 3-prong fork and claw at the earth like a worm.
I can only work in my back yard maybe half an hour before I know that it is time to go indoors to cool off. If I don’t, I will turn into a puddle laying on the ground unable to get up. I don’t want that to happen while I’m alone. This is known as heat intolerance common to Multiple Sclerosis.
Multiple times a day, I go up and down my 3 steps Every one of those steps cause me great pain due to spasticity. My legs, due to spasticity don’t work like everyone else. What I have to do is swing my leg to the right or to the left and pull myself up. The leg stretch that this causes, responds with a nice stretch, yes, but it also causes a lot of pain.
I managed to plant my carrots with my husband’s help.
My take on this:
What’s important to note here is that at least I do get things done regardless of pain or heat intolerance. I almost view a challenge as a method of going out and fighting against myself to be myself. Does that make sense? At the end of the day, when I’ve done what I set out to do despite the challenges or pain, I’ve won one small battle.