Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

images (2)It is after 1 a.m.  Here I sit thinking and feeling exhausted, but still I sit.  I am in need of a friend.  Someone who is like me, has MS and doesn’t sleep well at night.  It’s a well known fact that I love the night anyway.

My mind is pretty much empty.  It is in a state of “I don’t know what I’m doing here.” What will I be when I grow up?

It’s ridiculous that I think this way.  I mean, I am a seasoned person, to put it politely. I’ve been down a road  or two.  I’m not a newbie in anything I can think of.

Perhaps there is too much that I want to do but am aware of time slipping by.  Actually, I think that’s a big part of the mumbo jumbo that goes on in my head.

Having Multiple Sclerosis makes you highly aware of time.  In my case, I have lesions in the back of my brain, the area that controls all of your nonthinking abilities, such as breathing, blinking of eyes, heart beats, and all the other autonomic functions of your body.

Most of us die from complications of MS.  In my case, it could be that I die from MS.  If any of my lesions are active in the base of my brain and decides to act out, it could simply stop something from functioning in my body, like my heart beat.  It’s enough to have lesions in other areas of my brain as well, as that is why I don’t function like other people.

It’s a cause and effect sort of thing.  Depending on where the lesion is in your brain, affects a part of your body.  So you see?  For some of us it’s like having a ticking time bomb.

My Spin On This:

It’s really nothing to worry about.  After all, we all have ticking time bombs in us.  Many people die of heart attacks, or a vehicular incident and so forth.  What’s the point of sitting around worrying about such things?

It’s true, however; those of us with a disease are very aware of passing time.  Why? Because many of us lose about 10 years of a normal life span.  It’s too complicated to explain right now and I feel sleep pushing my eyelids down.

Good night dear friends.  I’m off to put on protection for bed wetting and to push my dog aside so I can get into bed.  She thinks it’s her bed.  Thank God for little dogs.


Magdalena Obert
Magdalena Obert
I am a musician/composer who has traveled around the country as a freelance musician. I live and breathe music. I was struck down by MS (Multiple Sclerosis), and my life changed dramatically. I continue to write and compose music but I do it from home. One day, I came across a web site and saw candlesticks on a chart. I was curious about them because they looked rather like musical notes to me. I clicked on the site, which took me to I read a bit about it and learned that trading was a method of making an income, so I downloaded a demo. I didn't do anything with the demo account for a long time. I did watch the charts daily and learned how to use the platform. Mostly, I was intrigued by the movements of the candlesticks. They fascinated me. I began to get the urge to trade, so I started playing with the demo. I then came across a system I wanted to try, which I did using the demo account. The rest is history. I fell in love with trading. There is something musical about it. In particular, you never know what it is going to do next, which is oftentimes true in music. You think you know the next logical progression of a new piece of music and you anticipate it, but oftentimes, it surprises you and goes along a different path. Sound familiar? I'm a trader now, newbie for 7 years, but a trader.


  1. Felicita says:

    Hi sis, I know the wide awake feeling you experience as my mind too sometimes just doesn’t shut down.

    I think about the time passing by as well as it seems it has gone by so quickly. How did I get to be this age? It seems as though we were just kids wishing around a make shift wishing well (sewer drain) wondering if we’d ever find our way home which of course we never did as kids.

    One thing I do know is that I think of you a lot and sometimes I think I’m awake because you are. 🙂

    I love you, I hope you sleep well this evening.

    P.S. What a cute puppy and it doesn’t look like it would take much room up on your bed.

    • Hello,

      Thank you for your comment Sis.

      I think there are many of us in this forum and other forums who would beg to differ about relating your sleeplessness to ours. But I sure appreciate the empathy.


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