Moving On
May 22, 2011 | 
Author If you are new to this blog, please read from the bottom up so that it will make sense to you. This is the latest blog, not the earliest.
I know that my last post was rather off the beaten track and a bit sad, but life goes on and like a moving floor at the airport; if you just stand there, you will eventually get to the end and must step off. You have to put one foot in front of the other and get out of people’s way who are trying to catch their flight to their future plans. I don’t know where I’m going, so I can at least move over to the side and then decide where to go next. At least I stepped forward and to the side. It’s better than just standing and have everyone run over you or push you away.
Those of you who comment on my blog, and either tell me about it or email me, please write your comments in the blog. I need your reactions made public and it encourages others to comment. Thank you.
These days with MS have been pretty much the same. I get no better or worse. My husband says that I’m a lot worse from a year ago. It’s so gradual a change for me, that I don’t notice it but others do, particularly those who haven’t seen me in awhile.
Let’s talk about stress and MS. We all know that stress can inadvertently trigger a relapse in MS patients, and it also can heighten symptoms with those of the other types of MS. What is the solution? We all have stress! Every single one of us. Those of you who think you are not under stress actually are. Did you know that there is good stress? Either one can heighten the symptoms or in fact; exacerbate the symptoms.
You don’t think you’re under stress but you are. My neurologist asks me if I’m under any stress quite often. I always tell him, “of course I am. So is everyone else in the world including you.”
I personally don’t know how to control the effects of stresses in my life. I am a prisoner to my stress. There are coping strategies all over the web, but my body will do what it wants. Read up on the subject and see if you can find ways of downplaying it’s effects on you. As for myself, I am highly volatile when under deep stress and there is no way I can control what happens thereafter, or perhaps I just don’t want to control it. Sometimes I feel it’s just better to let it out and allow it to run it’s course. By doing this, I feel better afterwards. Unfortunately, there can be dire consequences to allowing this to happen besides the medical issues it incurs. There are also personal struggles or relationships that can be tragically injured or changed as a direct result of how you react to your stress. I know, I’ve been there.
I’ve recently been under a great deal of stress and continue to be under it. I have made mistakes with people and my body is reacting to it.
The one stress that is up most in my mind right now is that I recently underwent some MRI’s for my cervical and thoracic spine and found some anomalies. No lesions there but I also have an Arnold Chiari Malformation (where the brain slips into the brain stem disallowing spinal fluid to flow around the brain), that was repaired several years back. Now it’s looking like it’s slipping back down again.
I had to undergo two major surgeries to repair this. I don’t want to have to go through that again because it took over a year before I felt just a little better. Some of the symptoms are returning and new symptoms as well. I have a great deal of pain to endure. I will provide links on the bottom of this blog for you to research.
I plod through my days having to deal with depression, the Arnold Chiari symptoms and the MS symptoms. I should be on the ceiling crawling the walls up there. I’m not. I just keep placing one foot in front of the other and do the best I can.
Listen folks. I can’t say it enough. Either you can give in to it or you can fight it. I choose the latter. It’s not an easy fight and sometimes other people get hurt through the process; but these people need to understand that I’m fighting a battle here. They will only get me back if I fight and yes; some people get hurt along the way. If I am to continue allowing myself the right to call myself “Enabled by my Disability”, I have to fight this battle. If I die trying, I die a winner.
So right now, I’m worried. I’m under good and bad stress. I’m excited about a new grandchild. I’m excited about my son and new daughter-in-law (they’re pregnant) coming over for a visit next month. I’m worried about my youngest child. I’m sad about not allowing myself to drive very long distances which has forced me to quit my teaching. I still can’t get the damn Motif (my piano keyboard) to work right. I have musical deadlines to meet, people to help, on Indaba, my music forum. The weeds in my garden are driving me crazy. Should I sell the house or not to get a rancher? Should I renovate and stay put and where will the money come from? I want an adaptive vehicle so badly. I’ve checked into light titanium wheelchairs that you can fold and put into a car, but again I ask; where will the money come from?
So you see there is good stress and bad stress. The one uppermost in my mind is the pain in my head and neck. I see the new neurologist next week. We’ll see what he has to say.
What can you do? What can I do? We move on. We place one foot in front of the other and deal with things as they happen. If you sit and think about it all, well then start building a box and crawl into it because it will overwhelm you. Just typing about all the things above was enough to set my palms into a sweat. So try and forget about the overall picture. Just take it one step at a time. Happily for me, I will get some answers next week with my #1 problem.
I promise you I do get swept under often with letting all of the issues hit me at once. I’m like you, no better. But then I have to talk to myself and get it under control again so that I can move on.
Move on.
Here are the links for you:
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/emotions/stress.html This is an article on both stressors.
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